Dysfunctional family trauma: healing the mother wound
One of my passions is to help spiritual women from dysfunctional families find their confidence, cultivate self-worth and creating success in their careers.
I help many women discover the root cause of their limiting beliefs and the mother wound is one of the most common root cause for women to be stuck in negative thoughts patterns about themselves.
What is the mother wound?
A mother's love is life force energy that births spirit and ensures the continuation of creation. When that love is withheld, it feels like the most unforgivable betrayal. It hurts us on the soul level and it's a spiritual catalyst for both the mother and child. This is a complicated and intricate topic and I’m just revealing one aspect of this multilayered puzzle. But it’s a start. This is my perspective as a first-time mom to a newborn.
It’s a generational karma
It’s a divine gift for mothers to be the channel for creation, aka love. The transformation to motherhood is powerful, empowering, magical and mystical. Yet it's also raw, painful, confusing, and vulnerable. It deserves attention and care and love and patience to explore individually and collectively. This transformation is complicated, intricate, and ever-evolving.
The transition from maiden to mother is far from gradual and far from gentle. The overnight shift in identity throws you off no matter how prepared you're mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never.” - Osho
The maiden struggles to stay alive and relevant after the mother is born. How long can she last before realizing she cannot win this uphill battle? How long till she feels exhausted and loses control?
It's unfair the maiden has to die overnight; to be replaced, locked away, and not allowed to exist anymore. She's silenced and her ghost haunts you forever. When you're having a bad day, her voice becomes your anger. When you choose to prioritize your child's needs over your own needs, her presence becomes your resentment. When you feel underappreciated, her sacrifice seems meaningless and becomes your sadness. Could our mother wound be the result of the unjust treatment for our mother's maiden identity?
How can we break this generational karmic pattern?
If life is about this AND that, does the maiden have to die for the mother to exist? Can the maiden within a woman co-exist with the mother? Or even better, be loved, nurtured, and parented by the mother.
Imagine being loved by a mother who never judges, criticizes, or punishes you. What if, through the birth of our child, we also birth a mother who can truly love us unconditionally? Isn't the magic of birth to expand love after all?
If we listen to what our maiden identity has to say and guide her to integrate with new powers and joy by making adjustments, could we put a stop to the generational mother wound?
Ask the mother you birthed for guidance
To all mamas, never compare or judge yourself on how you raise your children because we're all different. We love our children but just like everything else, we express our love differently, we have different soul contracts, etc.
When you feel judgmental or critical about yourself, ask for help and guidance, and compassion from the mother within you, the mother who is born with your child. The mother is here to take care of both you and your child. Trust in the mother and let her guide you through this amazing journey of integrating the multitude of emotions, responsibilities, joy, and love into your being. Let yourself fly and see how expansive love can be and how unlimited life can be. She knows how effortless life can be and she's here to show you if you will listen. And if you can trust her and follow her guidance despite fears. She might ask you to take a nap instead of pushing yourself to work because you deserve the break. It's self-love. To a workaholic/perfectionist/overachiever (however you label it), this is hard and scary. But trust. The mother is looking out for you and trying to take care of you. Don't work against yourself by rebelling against the mother for she knows when you're happy, healthy, and well-taken care of physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, your child will be too. And you will have a happy life.
