Needing space to heal: love or fear?
I used The Crow Tarot and Botanical Inspirations Oracle deck to illustrate the messages from spirit guides regarding healing.
Social conventions and expectations provide pointers on how we act and interact with people. We start by learning and following the social conventions, values and expectations taught to us by our family and social circles. However, it is in my opinion that once we reach a certain level of consciousness that we will start questioning these tribal beliefs and values. We are unique beings, so it's impossible for the values that are upheld by the collective consciousness to be in alignment with everyone's core bing. When the tribal belief doesn't align with our core being, we experience turmoil, friction and we have the urge to break free.
When we try to break free of social conventions, we are often challenged, labeled, shunned and exiled from our groups. Working as a protection mechanism, we feel guilty or ashamed. It's as if expressing our individuality threatens collective harmony, and everyone is bound by the unspoken rule of maintaining group harmony at the expense of individuality.
Many of my clients come to me for a reading because they realize they have been sacrificing their own needs in order to prioritize making others happy.
How the habit of people pleasing forms is different for everyone; however; the root cause can always be traced back to the fear of rejection.
In the healing journey, it is beneficial and even imperative in some cases to cut off connections that trigger the wounds we are trying to heal. Many people shared that it is very hard for them to reserve space for themselves to figure out their truth.
When certain energetic exchanges are established between two people, it is natural for one party to try to maintain the same energy when he or she senses the other party is changing the energy. He or she may attempt to do so by repeating the same behavioral patterns that form the energetic pattern between the two. That's why people who are in the process of detaching from a toxic relationship often feel like they're being dragged back into the same pattern with the same people.
The most important first step is to recognize that we all play our part in a toxic relationship. For energetic exchange is a two-way street. When we try to detach ourselves from the same pattern, we can expect drama from other people. When their attempts to keep us in the same energetic pattern fail (assuming they don't want to change), they will try to blame us or shame us.
We grew up learning that in order to be a good person, we need to have the heart to forgive. Forgiveness means treating people kindly and having them in your life even though you still have unprocessed emotions and unhealed wounds.
Sometimes we need space from people who show us our shadows in order to heal. Needing space for ourselves makes us feel guilty. Selfish, you may say. However, there's a difference between reserving space to heal versus building up a wall to hide. To know if we're giving us the space we need so we can heal instead of hiding from fear, we first ask our heart if we want to love. Being a conscious person, we tend to be hard on ourselves. It's perfectly ok to take as much time as we need to balance our energy. The only important thing is making sure we're not using the space and time to blame or hate ourselves or people whom we perceive to cause harm.
“The matter that’s weighing your heart down is a divine intervention. Recognize that you’re taking responsibility for restoring harmony. You’re not running away. Sometimes, to restore the harmony in your heart is not tending to the matter directly. But to notice which cup is empty and fill your cup first”
You’re not selfish for giving yourself space to heal. On the contrary, the desire to heal so that you can accept them for who they are without needing them to change or say or do anything is a testament to kindness. It is unconditional love. Be kind and gentle to yourself. You are wonderful.
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A testimonial from Christina about her experience with the Akashic Records reading.
